A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
