dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
