I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He felt like a one man threesome
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
