I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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