He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
