where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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