ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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