I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
