I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
