She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
