I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
