So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
