Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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