that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
