The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize