mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
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After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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