Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
