Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We just shotgunned beers for America
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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