I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He passed out mid-signature
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conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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