it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
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I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize