Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
