This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
