he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
