saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
