i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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