Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Randomize
