You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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