this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just gargled with NyQuil
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