Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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