Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
