ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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