I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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