What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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