you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
