I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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