My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Randomize
