shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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