Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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