please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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