i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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