Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
