god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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