Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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