North Korea, Best Korea!
I just pynch a tree in the face
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
