Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
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