Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
