Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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