Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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