Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
