I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
