Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
