Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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