Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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