I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
