How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
so much tequila, so little girl.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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