you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
