Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
