i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
