is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
