Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
