i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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