today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize